Dealing with elder care

I don't think I have ever talked so much in one day as I did yesterday! My brain is half-dead, but WAIT --- there is one more day to deal with, and then I can go home, where I have things on my schedule. But it's all good—we are making amazing progress, which is great. 

But here's the thing—I keep saying that every time I come out, so why is there so much more to do each time I come? It just doesn't make sense. Some of it is repetitive from before, but most of it isn't. 

Dare I say I think we got things under control this time? 

I visited one of my aunts in the morning, and I got to see the "baby." He is now 14 months and growing like a weed. They grow up so quickly, and he is going to be into everything! No - -he is into everything NOW!!! Good luck to his Mom! My aunt is his great-grandmother! 

We had the assessment in the morning, and all went as planned, so we are good. They are currently NOT on any list, but we now have identifiers in place to know when that will have to happen. Sadly, it is just a fact of life, and there is nothing we can do about it. I can only hope that they will call when those triggers happen. If not, I have a Plan B. 

All I can say about that is: do what you can to keep your strength. Do chair squats, do a step up and step down, lift cans of soup, or whatever it takes, but the day you lose your strength, you are toast! I don't want to hear of anyone who ends up in the nursing home because they lost their strength because they didn't keep it up. Please do NOT do that to yourself. It happens gradually, and you won't even realize it is happening. 

We watched it happen with my Mom, but NONE of us even realized what was happening and didn't do anything about it. First, I doubt she would have believed it, and second, she would say, "I'm fine," and now look!!!

I'm glad I was there because if I wasn't, this assessment would have gone downhill very quickly. But I was there to keep things calm and remind Mom of certain things she said were OK but, in fact, were not. She was honest, but not too honest. I kept quiet, unless I needed to add a few details. 

So now we wait. 

It is interesting to note that when I was here last time, my Dad was in quite a bit of pain from arthritis and gosh knows what other aches and pains you can have in old age on an abused body. And he was ready to throw in the towel. Thankfully, he has the pain under control and is a completely different person. So that is wonderful news. So if you are in pain, for heaven's sake, seek out someone skilled in pain management and don't try to be a hero and not take pills. They were made for a reason. 

All is good. 

Then we sat at the table and went through more papers that he had for me to scour. Then we made a list of what needed to be done, and we got to work. We visited the funeral home, the lawyer, and the insurance company, and we had a great time, but also made great progress on collecting data and getting answers to all our questions. It will make things so much easier when that day comes, and we will be completely prepared. 

I have another huge list of things to accomplish today, but none of them should take too long. I hope so!! A few phone calls. It sure makes things easy when you cut down the number of companies you deal with and all that. 

But it's interesting about people in general. Some people are super inquisitive - almost to the point that they are annoying. I have annoyed people in meetings with all my questions. Others are happy to just accept what they are told. They don't have the ability or interest to ask clarifying questions about the situation. Whenever we are in a meeting with someone, of course, they are talking to Dad, which is fine because he is their client. But then I stop the conversation and ask Dad whether he really understands, and I give it to him in a language he gets. Then I ask the questions that I know he will ask me when we are home! 

I don't know what we will do about stuff in the apartment. I asked Mom if I could get rid of the clothes she doesn't wear. Well, she doesn't know about that. Oh, so help me God—I am trying to help the situation, and she just doesn't get it. She will never wear those clothes again. 

Anyway, I'm sure that most of you have or are dealing with parents, and you know what it's like. It's insane how they are ready to let go, and yet they are not. 

But here's the thing—how the heck can I prevent that situation from happening to me? I will become frail one day, and it's already made me consider what time frame we should consider moving to a smaller place or a place without stairs. I don't have to yet, and I still have a sharp mind (well, most days!), but when do you start making contingency plans? It depends so much on our health and who we have to help us. 

I think DH and I are going to have some serious conversations when I get home. Don't worry—I'm not moving, but I need to keep simplifying life, both physically and digitally, and cut down on paperwork clutter—well, I'm going to take a completely different view of my situation when I get home! I won't have time to tackle it immediately, but I'm going to become even more ruthless and hopefully work faster! 

And you can bet I'm going to keep up my puzzles and whatever else I can do to stop any decline in brain capacity. By the way - I managed to figure out that puzzle that was driving me mad, and I did another one as well! 

So there isn't much else to chat about. I see the ladies at the retreat are having way too much fun, and I saw a table heaped with goodies (likely from the new market we discovered) and YARN. They bought a lot of yarn. They looked like they were out of control, and I thought I saw one of them spinning a skein into a ball of yarn!! I can't remember what that gizmo is called to do that!!! The next retreat may become a knitting retreat! 

You can't really see in this picture, but there was a lot of fog yesterday. It was very sporadic; one minute there was fog, and the next there wasn't. I need visibility because I was going to visit my aunt, and while I know where she lives in the country, I rely on visuals to find the turnoff. Thankfully, all was good. 

A somewhat patchy, foggy morning

OH MY GOD - I stopped in at the grocery store with Dad to pick up a few things, and look what I spot. An entire shelf filled with puzzles. They are everywhere!! I did not stop to browse, only to take a picture. 

Jigsaw puzzles at the grocery store

Well, it's time to go, and I have a few computer things to get done. I've totally ignored email for the last couple of days, and now I have some urgent things I need to do. 

It WILL be a good day. 

Ciao!!!