On being a caregiver

I'm starting with a disclaimer about the title of caregiver! DH is away, and MIL had a medical test that couldn't be changed, so I had to take her. It took five hours of my day. While everything went just fine and there was no hard work on my part, I was exhausted when I got home. 

I know many of you are full-time caregivers for aging parents, spouses, or someone else. I do not know how you cope. I got nothing else done yesterday. All I can say is, if you are a caregiver, try to take care of yourself as well. I know—it's not an easy thing to do. But if you don't, how the heck do you manage? 

I started by picking her up and dropping her off at the hospital's front door. She would not have managed to get to the DI on her own. Well, she may have managed it, but I had visions of her lost in the hospital, so she sat and waited. 

Because parking is expensive at the hospital and can take a long time to find, I drove across the street and parked at the mall. YEP—it's frowned upon. There are signs, and a fence was erected to deter people from doing that. But since walking is my thing, it was no big deal. The walk, including waiting at the lights, was almost 15 minutes!

Then I was a mean DIL because I didn't get her a wheelchair, but I made her walk all the way to DI, which wasn't that far. I wonder how many people miss these appointments. You are supposed to arrive 30 minutes BEFORE your appointment, and it sure doesn't take 30 minutes to register. It was the same thing for my MRI. Surely, after waiting months for some of these tests, people don't miss them. 

They were pretty much on time for the entire process. The bone scan in nuclear medicine uses quite a large machine, and there's a big sign about NOT taking pictures, so I did not, even when the technician left the room. 

She got an initial bone scan and the dye injection, and then we had to wait two hours. I went for a cup of tea and read my book. Then we waited together - you're not supposed to eat or drink in this area, and I needed my tea. At one point, she stands up, and then she sits down. And then she stands up and sits down. She is counting. OMG - she is doing the stand up/sit down exercises and she's pretty good at it. Considering she is 87 with a fracture somewhere in her back, that's pretty darn good!

When they called her in for the final stage, an hour-long scan, I walked back to the mall for lunch and some quick shopping. 

Then I had to walk her back to the front door. Partway there, she asked for a wheelchair—too late—you're almost there. I'm such a mean person! And then I had to walk back to the mall to get the car. Needless to say, I got my steps in yesterday, and I didn't officially go for a walk!

When I finally got home, I went to the gazebo for peace and quiet. Alas, Murphy was beside herself because they had been home alone for hours, and she insisted on playing with her fish. When I wouldn't get up to play with her, she threw it in the pond, so I had no choice but to get up! 

Mom - my fish is in the pond! Help!

Let me tell you the story of my compost bags. We use compost bags in the kitchen for scraps, and they get put in the larger bin each week for pickup. We had run out of the darn things, but I found a box of the larger bags, which are supposed to be liners for the cart. Why can't we just use those and use them up? 

When they talk about the bags being compostable, they aren't kidding. The lifespan of those bags is over! I put one in the small kitchen container, and all seemed OK, but it was shredding before my eyes when I put something in it. So I tried double-bagging. Nope—that didn't work. I'm unsure how old those bags are, but I suspect they are past their prime. 

The old and the new

So the remainder will go in the compost bin, and I have new ones to use! That's what I bought at the mall. 

If you thought the conversations with my subconscious and myself about the magazines were just for fun, they were NOT. Those were actual conversations, and they were serious. I need to go through that mental process to make myself realize what I really want to be doing and how to get the time to do that. I grew up with the mindset that I wanted to read every book in the world, and therefore, any reading material that came into my house needed to be read by me!

Yes, I had the wrong attitude, but that happened. I'm learning because I had those conversations and left some of the more "sentimental" stuff for last to declutter. If I had just tossed the reading material, I would have felt great angst, learned nothing, and started to accumulate all over again. 

So, if you struggle with that or any other issue, have a serious chat with yourself and see what happens. Ask and answer the tough questions, and be ruthless!  

This next pile of magazines came to the house with the local newspaper. They were aimed at very high-end homeowners, and there wasn't really anything in there for me. I did enjoy reading them, but I probably got absolutely nothing of value. 

This is how the conversation went for those ones: 

Subsonscious: So - here's another stack of magazines. What are you going to do about it? 

    Me: I just need to browse the index to see if there is any cool story of a local artist. 

Subconscious: And then? 

    Me: Then they go. 

Subconscious: See - these discussions are good and you are learning. I'm very proud of you!

    Me: I'm also proud, and thanks for helping me realize there was a monkey on my back. 

The  next pile of magazines to go

I have a few more issues to quickly browse the index, and they are gone. Yes, I could throw them out, but I'm doing just fine with my methods, so I don't need your advice! I want you to see that everyone has to find the way that works for them. For some of you, this is easy to toss, and for others, it is not! 

I ended up reading for the remainder of the day, which isn't a good thing as I have much to do, but  I had no mental or physical energy left, and today is another day. I'm OK with that. 

But that Murphy! She is like a toddler who demands attention for everything. I was all comfy in my media chair, and she was outside barking to come in. Can you see what I have to deal with? 

MOM - I'm trapped outside. HELP!!!

And she is smart! If the door is shut, she sits in front of the door and barks. But since she knew the door was open, she went to the window so she would look more desperate! That girl! Meanwhile, Lexi is sleeping in the kennel, and you wouldn't even know she was in the house. 

Here are some pictures I took while walking in the forest. This one is of a tree that overhangs the fence near one of the entrances. It's so pretty!

Tree blossoms

And look at the drop of water on this leaf that's just about to unfurl! Nature is so fascinating. But imagine walking to school with your kids and stopping at the same tree each day to see the progress? Nope—most kids get taken to school in a car!

A leaf about to unfurl

Well, I now have more sewing and embroidery to do today. There are emails to answer and one appointment for the girls, which will certainly not last five hours, but it's going to be exhausting to deal with both of them together. 

But it's all going to work out. With all the time I spent reading yesterday, I managed to finish my ebook, which is good because I have another ebook that has to be returned in a couple of days.

I'm off to spin class. 

Have a super day!!!!

Ciao!!!