Tips to successful decluttering

I had a blast speaking at the Durham Trillium Quilter's Guild last night! They have found a beautiful space in a funeral home! It sounds like an odd place to have a guild meeting, but there are beautiful tables and chairs, a large room, and the guarantee that funerals and visitations are worked around the guild meetings. That was my first thought—what if there is a visitation on the day of the meeting? 

I'm not in the funeral business, so I have no idea how they work that out, but it's a win-win for the space. 

Even more fun was meeting some Zoom participants and seeing that they are real people with bodies, not just floating heads! Debra and Joanne approached me at the beginning of the meeting and introduced themselves. Joanne very kindly sent me this photo when I was presenting. Thanks so much! 

That's me - presenting my Modern Quilt lecture

And I also got to meet Robynn and Kelly.

Here's the thing about Zoom: I open my calls about 30 minutes in advance with the hope of people chatting to each other and getting to know each other better. I've known all four people for several years from various Zoom calls. And you know what? I felt like I knew them last night when we chatted! 

That is the beauty of our world—Zoom has brought us closer together despite being "forced" upon us during the pandemic! 

While I drove there and back, I decided to relisten to Nobody Wants Your Sh*t by Messie Condo. It's only been a couple of weeks since I first read this book, but I decided there was a lot of stuff in it that I wanted to hear again. Oh boy! 

For those on the Monday call, we talked about hobbies we are no longer interested in but have many supplies for. I couldn't remember the term Messie used, so I used stale, but Messi called them stagnant hobbies. Yep—if you have a stagnant hobby, get rid of the supplies. You will NEVER go back to it. 

The advice in the book is outstanding, and I would highly recommend everyone read it, particularly if you are struggling to get started or dealing with some particular aspect of your life related to decluttering. One slight issue with the book is that she swears a lot. While I could keep up with a trucker if needed, I think it's excessive. The book is meant to be funny, so ignore the cursing and read the book! 

I want the checklists at the end of every chapter. They are brilliant, and I want to keep them. I'll just have to break down and buy the flipping book! Even though I probably do not need the book, I'm converted and on my way to clearing things out. 

The book is based on The Swedish Art of Death Cleaning, which you can Google to find some stuff about, including this short trailer. I think there is a TV series? I haven't watched this video, but it relates to Death Cleaning and someone cleaning their mom's home. I think we should all watch it! Shoot—I could have made some amazing videos on decluttering if I had filmed what we went through at my parents' place. 

I think there are several takeaways from all this. 

1. Do not be guilted by anyone into keeping something. I wish I had known this years ago when I sold my upright piano. My grandfather had purchased it for me, and I moved it around. I felt guilty when I sold it, but now that it's gone, I'm a happy camper. 

2. Do not feel OBLIGATED to buy or make a gift for someone. Your gifts are cluttering someone else's home unless they are consumable; think TWICE before you gift anything to anyone. And even better -- ASK them if they still want what you give them. It may sound tacky, but the relief they will get for not having another item to get rid of is a positive for everyone! Giving them a handmade gift is even worse because they will be GULTED into keeping it, which causes clutter in their house! How many quilts do your friends or family need? My daughter has two, and she politely said, "Thank you, Mom, we do not need more!" Smart kid!

If someone asked me what I would like as a gift, I would give them a few consumable items I use regularly, and everyone would be happy. But to get a candle or a book I won't read? CLUTTER. 

3. Get rid of STAGNANT hobby supplies. Pack them up and donate them to the local church, the thrift store, or wherever, but get rid of them!

4. Clothes that are ripped or torn - garbage. Donate those that do not fit, and you will NEVER fit into them again! That's so easy! And what you have left should now have breathing room in the closet. Also, consider how you want your stuff to sit in your dresser. Professional organizers, based on tips from Marie Kondo, are ridiculous. Each T-shirt is folded precisely and put on the edge so you can see what you have. Am I going to take the time to do that? The laundry would never get put away if I were to do that. REDUCE the number of T-shirts you have and wear every single one! They should fit flat in your drawer, so you don't have to spend hours keeping them pretty! 

5. You are NOT just decluttering your home. You are decluttering your soul, physical space, mental space, happiness, and very being. You are making your very short time on this earth much happier because you have LESS stuff to look at. You are 100% in control of your crap, and if you spend so much time managing it - get rid of it and enjoy life! 

6. Don't make excuses! I hear this all the time from people. If you have seasonal decorations that you can't put away, perhaps it's time to toss them. There are many other alternatives to enjoying seasonal decorations that are much easier. Think about a Charlie Brown Christmas Tree, or I have a quilt with a Christmas tree that I hang at Christmas. How much dust is on those seasonal decorations if you leave them out? And if no one comes into your house because you are embarrassed, that's a HUGE red flag, and stuff needs to go! 

7. Those odds and ends that you shouldn't be keeping but have shifted from box to box because you didn't know what to do with them. Get a garbage pail and toss them in one by one. OK - this is one area I need desperately to get to! That would empty the crap that's on the right-hand side of the desk. 

8. Media such as floppy disks and CDs/DVDs. If you watch them, great. If you don't, NO ONE ELSE is going to, as there are so many streaming services with the same material on them. Get rid of all that crap. If you have video tapes and are unsure what's on them, transfer them to a media you can read and then toss them. I took FOUR tapes in the other day. Who knows what's on them. 

9. DO NOT pawn junk off on your relatives or friends. If you have a lovely item you desperately want someone in your family to have, ASK THEM before getting your heart set on them having it. Perhaps they do not want your stamp collection, favorite blouse, or whatever. If they want it, why not give it to them NOW instead of waiting until you're gone? If they don't want the item, think about getting rid of it NOW! Do NOT guild them into taking it. Guilt is a HUGE part of the clutter issue. 

10. COMMUNITATION is KEY. During this entire process, be sure to ASK. Ask for help, but if you ask for help in decluttering, get a NON-sentimental person to help you. Do NOT ask an enabler to help you, as they will just encourage you to keep the crap, and your goal is to get rid of it. Ask people if they still want gifts, ask people if they want your crap, ask people if they will help. But NEVER assume. NEVER NEVER NEVER!!!

Why are those steps so necessary? Because this is YOUR SHORT LIFE that is being ruined by crap. Some of you will say - "I like living with clutter." Messie would say that you are TOO LAZY to deal with it, so you come up with an excuse! I would be more polite but take charge of your life, health, and space. Deal with it now! Baby steps, but you have to start!

11. Here's another KEY STEP to decluttering. STOP BUYING. Stop buying just for the sake of buying. How many of us used retail therapy to get through a difficult time and are now dealing with the aftermath? 

A couple of quilters in the city's east end have recently passed, and this happens ALL OVER THE COUNTRY. They had massive stashes. Now, some very dedicated friends are spending a lot of time trying to get rid of the fabric. The money is being used to offset expenses. This is just the TIP OF THE ICEBERG of what those friends are dealing with. 

A small part of an excessive stash

PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE -- deal with the CRAP (and excess fabric now). Your children and friends each have their own lives, and they SHOULD NOT have to be dealing with your crap. You bought it - you acquired it - you deal with it. 

Now, having said all that, if you have something you treasure, then GET IT OUT and admire it or use it every day. But if you treasure something stored in the attic, you do not treasure it!

Last night, when I got home, I had to find a new quilt to put on the duvet cover as the previous one was in my suitcase of quilts parked inside the front door. You know what? That made me smile! So before I give any of my quilts away, as I plan to do later this year, I will sleep with each one for at least a week before it leaves my house. That way, I had the joy of making it, and now I'll have the pleasure of using it, and then it goes. But having it over the back of a couch - I don't get to appreciate what I created. Laying it out on the top of the bed? I can see the entire quilt, making me smile every time I walk into the bedroom. And YES -- I will never make another bed quilt again - seeing the whole lap quilt on the top of the bed is AMAZING!

Well, I'm off on an adventure today—a long adventure—but I'm pretty excited about it, so I'd better get myself together as I have a train to catch. 

Have a super day!!!

Ciao!!!!