Saturday, September 1, 2018

I’m an enabler! Part Two

So why is ZERO progress being made? I know that lots of other people have been through this. But here’s the difference. We are not obliged to empty the house. If we could pull up a dumpster and start pitching - I’d be a happy camper. But we’re just picking through the rubble. Every time you go back, you see the same stuff over and over again. The piles of boxes don’t go down. There’s no satisfaction in throwing away stacks of bills that have been languishing forever.

I want to get rid of stuff - that’s how I work. And so I came to the realization. I’m an enabler. I’m the one that is making this go on and on. So the buck stops HERE.

I’m going out to the house today to putter around and pick up a few more things that she wants. BUT I’m NOT going back. I might (and will) go back if there’s something specific that has gotten forgotten. Or to pick up a box of yarn (I think there are four left) but I’m not going back to see that same mess again and again. I’m not going back to pick through boxes of stuff.

Part of the problem is that she thinks this stuff is valuable - I can sell it at a garage sale. Seriously???  Now I know that she has hit rock bottom and has NO sense of reality. None. What is frustrating is that she invents things. I got to the apartment yesterday and got this string of nonsense that she has  leads on garage sales. Really? At this time of the year? Whose going to do this for her? She won’t say. I know why she won’t cough up names. Either there is no one and she’s making it up or she knows I’ll call them and ask. Which I did the night before and she then spoke to the person that I had spoken about the garage sales and now she’s mad. So she makes stuff up.

What I learned is that this will NEVER END, unless I end it. So I’ll pack up stuff that I think is worthy of being donated. Some of the craft supplies will be good for the boys and girls club or the women’s shelter, but the rest? It’s staying in that house. And we may end up going there and continue to pick but it will be “unauthorized”.

And there’s no way that my Dad get this stuff. Some of it was a challenge to unearth yesterday.

Sorry for the diatribe here on this situation, but I think it’s a good lesson for us all. I know I said it the last time I was here that I need to get rid of the paper and other stuff from my house. Well, I had better just book a day - I don’t care how busy I am - just book a day and make a head start on that paper. It has to go - and it should go. Maybe I can do that on Friday next week. I mean seriously - I’m like the pot calling the kettle black except that I don’t come anywhere near what this situation is like.

I’m also done talking about it. Other family members aren’t so positive about the situation (I’m still giving my Mom the benefit of the doubt on most occasions), but others do not. I DO NOT WANT to talk about her mental state any more. It’s bad and let’s call it a day. I’m TIRED of talking about it. Again, I’m an enabler for letting those conversations go on.

So yes, this trip has been good. The end is near. I’m the one in control and I just better be strong and make sure it stays that way.

It’s a three parter again today and the next part is about quilting so you better make sure you pop over and check it out.

No comments:

Post a Comment